its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
