i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
