How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
