We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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