you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
