So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
