What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
