Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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