For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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