Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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