I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Two words: blizzard sex
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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