At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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