I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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