youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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