This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize