When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I currently don't understand fingers.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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