You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
