you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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