so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
