I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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