So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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