Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
