had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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