yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
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She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
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After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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