He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
