You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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