What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
