Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
