Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
