Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
