One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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