We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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