we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
