ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
