i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
