i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
