He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
