i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
