Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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