went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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