even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
