I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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