"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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