I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize