Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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