evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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