She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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