if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
