Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
