two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
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