so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
