Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
