that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
