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holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
