I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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