Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
