Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
